It's all coming back AGAIN and AGAIN

I've stopped blogging for a very very very long time since last year as I thought that I've already forgotten him. But I realized, I've not forgotten him at all. So, I have no choice but to start writing all these feelings and thoughts again...

Recently, I've been missing him again and thinking of him again and again.

I've even dream of him! N the dream was even more ridiculous!

I dream that we were in a relationship and in my dream, I was hugging him, etc.

Although it's seems blur, as the dream was on 15 October 2011, a Saturday night, which is a few days back.

But I can still remember some moments that happened in my dream.

Is this too clear enough that he has always been in my mind or even in my heart?

I thought that I've forgotten him as it has been almost 1 year since I thought of him.

But I've to admit that in this almost 1 year, I would still think of him quite a few times.

However, nowadays, I've been thinking of him too often that I would be waking up in tears. :'(

I don't know what to do. Can anyone please tell me, what I should do?

I would think of him especially on the lonely nights, which I hate the most as it will be difficult for me to sleep or even, I will not be able to sleep at all.

AND, I swear, I didn't sleep at all for the whole night at all today, the 19 October morning (just the start of the day) OR should it be the 18 October night (the last period of the day, which is soon, the next day)?

I just kept on thinking what I should do the whole night and decided to write down my feelings.

It's the first time in my life that I did not sleep at all for a night (excluding chalet etc).

Am I suffering from insomnia?

Not sleeping at all is so much worse than sleeping very late.

I've been thinking of him for the whole entire night and thinking of what I should do now after more than 3 years of all these!

Should I continue all these feelings for you and ignore? OR Should I tell you about how I feel all these time?

Memories of you just keep coming back...

- If it wasn't LOVE, why is it be able to last for such a long time? So is this what it's called LOVE?

- No matter how much I try or what I do, I still could not seem to forget you at all.

别再哭 就让他走 再多痛苦的等待 相信我也能承受

闭上眼 不再留恋 你却一遍又一遍 出现在想你的夜

可是我好爱你 我觉得我会离不开你

明明知道不会有结果 但还是不能忘记你

而你 又怎么能够 就这样一去不再回头